Don’t Call My Name, Don’t Call My Name. Filibertos. I’m Not Your Babe, Im Not Your Babe. Casillo.
Most head to California for the sun and perhaps the waves. Not me dog. I go for the snacking. Of all the burritos in all of middle earth, it is the California Burrito from Flibertos that I desire most. Inside this magical two pound delight is carne asada, french fries, guacamole, cheese, salsa fresca, and hot sauce at your discretion. I wish I could have one every day. If that were possible, what a well nourished round man I would truly be. But alas, that is merely a pipe dream. For we don’t have Mexicans in Canada.
If you are familiar with the Matrix, you may recall that in act 3 our protagonist Neo eats a strange oatmeal mixture that is said to have all necessary nutrients the human body needs to sustain itself. My recent studies have found similar attributes in the Cali burrito. By consuming only water and a burrito for 4 faithful days in a row, I have proven the body needs nothing more, nothing less to survive under the hot California sun. The multiple bottles of wine each evening do not count, they were needed to wash down the nightly dose of Vicodin.
Note: Although I have succeeded in finding an alternative to futuristic oatmeal, I’m beginning to think perhaps eating a California Burrito each day did not exactly do wonders for my highly anticipated California beach body. Regrettably, even though I move like Neo, my physique in no way resembles Johnny Utah’s.
Chorus: Filibertos. Flibertos. Fili-fili bertos. FIli-fili bertos. God dam this is a catchy song… Only Labamba makes me crave Mexican more.
Flibertos. Encinitas, CA.
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Its A Tragedy For Me To See, Hot Sauce All Over. But I Never Will Forget The Meal We Had. Taco Bell I’ll Miss You.
There were several instances where my associates and I would go to the movie theater just to eat Taco Bell. We would gladly pay the $12.95 movie premium to cover up the desire to dine at The Dynamic Duo: KFC/TB.
Note: When eating theater tacos, precautionary measures must be taken. There is no such thing as too many napkins, and all hot sauces are to be applied before sitting in the dark theater to feast.
Each time I ate theater Bell I would assume all was well. But then the movie would finish, lights would come on, and shit would be absolutely everywhere. My thighs always got the worst of it. As customers exited the theater they would point at me and whisper to one another that’s the man who had intercourse with a burrito supreme. I always dreaded that situation, and often contemplated if the meal was worth such ridicule. Looking back, what I would give to hold a taco in absolute theater darkness one last time. I would slather hot sauce all over my chest if it would guarantee one more rendezvous. But alas, my slacks will never be soiled again. For KFC/TB at Scotia Bank Theater is no more. This is a tremendous loss for the snacking community.
Note: This masterpiece seen above is my brother’s creation. I can’t help but to think he knew the Duo wouldn’t be here for much longer. On what would be our final visit, he exploited everything the joint menu had to offer, creating a Hybrid dish. I give you the Popcorn Chicken Taco Supreme. To remember better days…
Taco Bell Scotia Bank Theater. Vancouver, BC. May 2006 – March 2010.
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Everybody Salsa. & Agave.
I was watching BET while eating tacos the other day, and something occurred to me. Black dudes and mexican spots have a few things in common. First of all, both are usually awesome. Secondly, both seem to be everywhere in America, yet so very scarce in the city of Vancouver. Despite these limitations, one place that is well worth checking out is Salsa and Agave. It’s a small spot near Pacific and Davie St, right beside the DQ Hot Eats, Cool Treats. The waitresses are extremely nice. Most of them sound just like Penelope Cruise, which confirms this place is a legitimate mexican eatery. Wait, Penelope is from Spain. I guess they sound more like Selena? Either way, I would recommend ordering the Tostadas as seen above. The Chorizo Taco is also quite nice. Prices are mellow tokes as well bro. Hit em up hit em up.
Salsa & Agave. Vancouver, BC.
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Oh, Donna (Guacamoles)
We were so drunk when we ate here, I had forgotten this place until I came across this photo, and of course my visa statement. Tacos were ordered, that is certain. I can’t say I remember much of how they tasted. What I do remember was the restaurant was absolutely rammed with people. There were lots of actual Mexicans eating there, which is a good sign. One of the staff resembled a young Antonio Bandaras. He insisted on sending complimentary shots of Tequila our way. That’s always a nice feature. I shall have to return sometime and give this place the old college try.
Don Guacamole’s. Vancouver.
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Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay Ay. El Asador. Ay Mi Morena, De Mi Corazon
The crispy rolled tocos at Tacos El Asador on Bloor are almost as hot as these three (both temperature and spice). Actually every taco they make is awesome. I cannot guarantee there will be babes of this caliber present, but I would still suggest you go for the food alone. The crispy rolled tacos are all time. I ate 5 once. That was not the best idea.
Tacos El Asador. Toronto, ON.
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Tin Fish SD. Yeah You Know Me.
Tin Fish in San Diego. If your in the downtown Gas Lamps area, this is a hot spot for lunch. The convention center is just across the street. We found ourselves eating and drinking here for days. It was much like a mexican style cactus club of sorts. Spots like these need to be in Canada already.
Tin Fish. San Diego, CA.
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Come Mr.Tally Man, Johnny Me Bananas.
This is a great little spot in Toronto. As seen above, I ordered 3 different meats in each taco. Beef, Chicken, and chorizo.The Tri-vector of meats. The Triboney, jabroni. Hit up Johnny Bananas.
Johnny Bananas. Toronto, ON.
Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.
