I Was Afraid, I’d Eat Your Mein (Chicken Chow).



Written by Esquire
January 10, 2012






I have been famished as of late. I'm uncertain as to the exact cause of this new found hunger. It's possible the vigorous amount of snacking throughout the holiday season has stretched my belly. Surely that's the reason..? Regardless, it's no excuse for my recent actions. I went out for dinner at Bao Bei the other eve which was lovely by the way. Great place for drinks, and they have some excellent snacks. However, the dishes were much smaller then anticipated. On the way home from dinner my associate and I were forced to take a pit stop at a certain Scottish Deli for a second dinner. On an average drunken night I would think nothing of this Mc-visit, however I am ashamed to admit we were both completely sober.  Very shameful. We have brought great Mc-shame to our families.

DO go to Bao Bei on a first date. Women in general are terrified of eating in front strangers let alone love interests. This will insure there is plenty of food for you. Order one of everything from the small plates menu.

DONT go here with your girlfriend. The fear of eating in front of others no longer exists with this breed It evaporates around month two of the relationship.  They will show no restraint when the food arrives. This will leave you starving and inevitably force you to make extremely poor diet decisions.

Bao Bei. Vancouver.
      Coversation 16 -The National
 
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I Just Want To Eat. I Just Want To Eat At Peaceful.



Written by Esquire
September 6, 2011






I'm on a real Chinese binge as of late. Of all the foreign establishments in this fine Asian influenced city, it is Peaceful Restaurant that I desire the most. You won't open up a second location even closer to my home? Tis true, they now have a spot downtown in addition to the original on Broadway and Cambie. This is trouble for my mid section. I only burn through 15 calories max on my walk over, yet I consume thousands in one feeding. This equation is certainly not adding up in my favor. Yet I proceed. Go in a large group so you can try everything. Some mandatory orders are as follows: Sichuan Cucumbers. Mu-Shu noodle. Peaceful Beef roll. Xiao-Long Bao Steamed Buns above.

Note: I want the money. Money and The Cars. Cars And The Clothes. The Ho's. I suppose... I do quite like the part about the ho's I suppose,  but it reminds me, the success I once hoped to achieve has quickly become an irrelevant daydream. Though I may never have such fancy things like Drake, I will likely still have my appetite.

Peaceful Restaurant. Vancouver, BC.

      Successful
 

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Call Me New Ho King. Call Me Mr. Wong. Call Me Insane…



Written by Esquire
September 1, 2011






New Ho King - The true Emperor of the Special Tea Dynasty. Legend has it this is the place where special tea was invented. I know what you may be thinking. Who would need more alcohol when there so much delicious food on the table? Me, for one. No better a way to wash down chicken balls and fried rice then with luke warm Coors Light. Back to the food... their won-ton soup, what a glorious starter. And the honey garlic wings;  they use so much honey you have to clean your hands with 400 grid sandpaper. The plates never seem to stop coming at the Ho. It often feels like you are in a black hole, where hours of eating, drinking, and carrying on go by and no one seems to notice or care.  Maybe its the MSG talking, but I have had more fun at New Ho King then in all the clubs in Toronto combined...Fact.

Note: I have never once eaten here sober, or before 2:47am for that matter.

New Ho King. Toronto, ON. Because of how similar and amazing the intro to both of these tunes are,  It had never occurred to me that Mr Vain and Rhythm is a Dancer are in fact two different songs, performed by two different artists. I quite enjoy how half way through both of these songs there is a deep voiced man who is straight up talking.
      Mr.Vain.

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      Rhythm.

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Sus Sus Tsui Hang.



Written by Esquire
October 13, 2010






Tsui Hang/Special Tea: The finest in Vancouver for a late night Chinese food pig out. Who in god's name eats here two nights in a row? I do. Fuck. Where did it all go wrong? I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders. Well not really, but I act like I once was, or at least should have been.  And now as the rain begins its worst, I find myself  roaming the dark streets like a vagabond, frequenting this late night establishment with great consistency. The obscene amount of MSG that is clearly in each dish adds to the hang over like no other. Yet I proceed, time and time again. On most occasions I have no recollection of ever dinning here. It's not until I see multiple visa charges  days later that I realize what I have done.  The worst part is, I don't even go for the after hours beverages anymore.  I go for the food. Dear god, why have you forsaken me?

Note: You won't eat Tsui Hang in broad daylight...You won't.

Also of note: What the fuck is this song about?

Tsui Hang Village. Vancouver, BC
      Sussudio.

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All We Are Saying…..Give Peaceful A Chance.



Written by Esquire
October 12, 2009






This place rules. There are so many different dishes to choose from, so be sure to roll deep. A few mandatories are the Beef roll, 1000 Pepper Chicken, cucumber salad, the steamed buns. Any of the noodle dishes are also awesome.  Usually after eating here you don't have to eat for 1.5 days. Although there technically is no liquor License, they have been known to turn a blind eye. Very peaceful crew running that joint. Check it.

Peacefulrestaurant. Vancouver, BC

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Nights (Market) In White Satin.



Written by Esquire
September 16, 2009






What interesting and delicious things the Chinese always have up their sleeves.....  Above we have an Octopus ball, some various meat on sticks, and this very interesting Egg ball desert. It was amazing, kind of like a pancake or waffle, only it was infused with bananas. How clever the Chinese are. Such wonderful foods at giveaway prices. Be sure to check out The Night Market every weekend during the summer.

The Night Market. Gastown, Vancouver.

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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.