North Van Nandos Got Crazy Game. But Downtown Nandos Is All The Same.

Written by Esquire
May 14, 2010

I first enjoyed Nandos' delicious Portuguese chicken many moons ago in North Vancouver. I always thought they could only be found deep in VGA suburbia. To my surprise I have learned they have various locations across BC, Alberta, and Ontario. More importantly they have recently opened a downtown location at Davie and Howe in Vancouver. My hats off to the fun boys of summer. They sure know how to fill that Davie St. with great eateries. Bin, Lolitas, Stephos, The Pumpjack, the list goes on.  Now I no longer have to ride my bike to Kits for my Portuguese fix. I probably shouldn't be cutting out fitness at this point in the game, but the downtown location enables me to expedite that peri peri sauce to my belly at a much faster rate .

Most Nandos have liquor licenses and patios. Yes, that is indeed a cooler accompanying my meal. The Growers White Grape is quite a refreshing way to wash down the  2 side dish combo. This obscene amount of rice and potatoes  above is known  as The Portuguese Carb Bomb.

Warning: After eating such complex carbohydrates your body will inevitably go into carbo-shock. Very similar to Toxic Shock Syndrome, but without Tampons. I suggest you get to a couch within 20 minutes.

Note: If Swiss Chalet were to have had a Portuguese cousin, I'd like to think Nando would be thy name.

Nandos. [audio:Deja Vu.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Portuguese
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This Slice, Has Fu*ked Up My Life. And I Will Never Sleep Again.

Written by Esquire
March 27, 2010

Regrettably, this is merely one example of what I had been consuming in the wee hours of the morning during the Olympics. 7-11 now has all kinds of new hot foods that cater to the drunk, and the high. The slices were nothing to drag home. Yet I dragged home 4 of them? WTF? Surprisingly the breaded wings were pretty good. I figure they sit under that heat lamp for so long they dry out nicely. I am one who prefers my wings extra crispy, as apposed to a soft chicken gizzard texture. Old balls...gross. Either way, don't eat here. I should be embarrassed.

Note: Results from this type of gluttonous snacking have been two fold. First off, I've been having night terrors, specifically regarding the image above. Secondly, it has left my physique in a less then desirable state. Im not even in that good of shape to begin with. Fuk my life.

And Im not happy and Im not sad.

7-11. Everywhere.

[audio:This Night.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Chicken, Pizza, Smiths, Wings
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Bailamos. Let The Rhythm Take You Over At Stepho’s. Te Quiero. Amor Mio.

Written by Esquire
March 4, 2010

Stephos is personally my favorite greek restuarant in the city. The savings alone is reason to wait in the ever so common line out front. At $7.95 the Souvlaki plate is certainly the best value in Vancouver. The fact you will be full for days is also a nice feature. Even my friend Nick The Greek Physique claims this spots rules. That must account for something. Wait a minute, Im not so sure he is even greek? Regardless, hit this spot up.

Note: Speaking of Enrique Iglesias, many of the wait staff over at Stepho's resemble ethnic ball room dancers. They move with such grace as they bring food to the table. I imagine Enrique would move like that, if he ever were to become a waiter. 

Stepho's Souvlaki. Vancouver. [audio:Bailamos.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Greek, Vancouver
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Wingy Wingy Wingy, Cant You See. Sometimes Your Wings Just Hypnotize Me.

Written by Esquire
January 18, 2010

Wings, On Granville St. Just look for the Howard Johnston Hotel.  Wings is fortunate enough to share a bathroom with HoJo's lobby. Very classy. Im not sure how I feel about this establishment. Something tells me it would have more success in Surrey. Surrey or Jersey. Bridge and tunnel folk a plenty. Wings serves a very specific purpose, no more no less.  Go there to watch the game in LD (Low Def) and drink draft. Its loud, and Im unsure if the wings are even any good. I feel filthy each time I have eaten there. But then again, its wings, the armpit of chicken. What am I really expecting?

They make you sign a contract if you order the death wings. I took down a whole plate of those once. Yeah bitch. I sweat so much my actual eyeballs were perspiring. I looked like Patrick Demsey in 1995's Outbreak.  (Thats right, it was indeed Pat Demsey who contracts the virus from the monkey). And how it burned. I had no idea you could get the clap from eating hot wings. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe.

Wings. Vancouver. [audio:hypnotize.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Music, Vancouver, Wings
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Sky Rockets In Flight. Karaage Delight.

Written by Esquire
January 7, 2010

Deep fried products and babes.....  two of my only many weaknesses in life. Guu's chicken Karaage is among the finest in its field. It even comes with that aioli that everyone seems to like so much these days. Question: Is tatar sauce considered an aioli? And who made up this fancy word for flavored mayonnaise? Whoever it was, well played.  Now mayo is perceived as a premium product. Very clever marketeer-ing. Aioli - the "SB" of mayonnaise.

Obviously eating at KFC is extremely frowned upon (unless you are at the movie theater grabbing Taco Bell, and a box of popcorn chicken mysteriously finds its way into your order). To save yourself the embarrassment of a KFC sighting, be sure to hit up Guu for their Karaage.   I should mention they are not limited to fried chicken. Every dish they have is  excellent. Its not Popeyes, or anything like that.

Guu -Original. Vancouver. [audio:Afternoon Delight.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Japanese, Vancouver
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Last Dance For Mary (Browns) Jane. One Drum Stick To Kill The Pain.

Written by Esquire
October 26, 2009


This place has amazing fried chicken, Im surprised its not in the United States.  What's equally impressive is their taters. Its as though they have some how made the taters taste identical to the chicken. Perhaps they apply actual chicken skin to potatoes, then bread them? Any time you are in middle earth Ontario, be sure to check this place out. Mary Browns. The locations are hard to find but well worth the search.  Clue: There is one right near Yorkdale on Dufferin. Booyah.

Mary Browns. Ontario.

[audio:Mary Jane.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Toronto
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Swiss Chalet, Ok, Ok.

Written by Esquire
October 20, 2009

Although frowned upon in the west, this meal is a staple for most every family in the east. I cant help but to notice there is more pride taken in the quality of the Chalets in Ontario then anywhere else. During the holidays the quarter chicken Festive Special is a lovely alternative to the classic turkey dinner. Swiss Chalet. Be sure to order two chalet sauces, as one is never enough. At only 26 calories per sauce, you cant afford not to double down.

Swiss Chalet. Canada.

There Was Something In The Air That Night, The Stars Where Bright at Nando’s.

Written by Esquire
July 15, 2009


This is one of the better lunches to have on the way to Kitts Beach. Nandos has delicious hot sauces to accompany their Portuguese chicken. It rules. Order the wrap, its dynamite. Im pretty sure there are locations all over Canada. Hit them up. I adore the Portugueseys, and their delicious Peri peri Sauce.

Nandos. Vancouver. [audio:Fernando.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Vancouver
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.