Panago The Streets Of London. Panago The Streets Of Birmingham.

Written by Esquire
September 14, 2010

On most occasions Panago can get fucked. Their pizza is neither her nor there. They make an average pie, which serves it's purpose, ideal for Pizza parties and such.  However, what vexes me about this company is that fat construction dude they use in their TV commercials. He acts as a deterrent rather then a reason to order from this spot.  Why is he wearing an apron if he is ordering delivery? He has the look of a walrus. Is Panago insinuating their customers are walruses? Terrible messaging. That's not good for business. That's not good for anybody.  I am very vexed.

Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that they constantly play.

Panago. Canada. Panic. [audio:Panic.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Pizza, Smiths
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Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Everybody.

Written by Esquire
September 13, 2010

On Friday's I often like to head to the mall for lunch. I figure dinning with the common folk keeps me honest, and the food court has a wide variety of garbage to ingest. Why I choose Taco Time more often then not is a complete mystery to me. Yet each visit I proceed directly to the south west corner of the food court, like clockwork. This type of snacking has got to stop. When I am done eating this meal it usually feels as though I have been hit by a large automobile.  I know this feeling because I have actually been hit twice before by large automobiles. For real.  Derek Foreal.

Taco Time. Kind of gross bro. Shots. [audio: Shots.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Mexican
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This Slice, Has Fu*ked Up My Life. And I Will Never Sleep Again.

Written by Esquire
March 27, 2010

Regrettably, this is merely one example of what I had been consuming in the wee hours of the morning during the Olympics. 7-11 now has all kinds of new hot foods that cater to the drunk, and the high. The slices were nothing to drag home. Yet I dragged home 4 of them? WTF? Surprisingly the breaded wings were pretty good. I figure they sit under that heat lamp for so long they dry out nicely. I am one who prefers my wings extra crispy, as apposed to a soft chicken gizzard texture. Old balls...gross. Either way, don't eat here. I should be embarrassed.

Note: Results from this type of gluttonous snacking have been two fold. First off, I've been having night terrors, specifically regarding the image above. Secondly, it has left my physique in a less then desirable state. Im not even in that good of shape to begin with. Fuk my life.

And Im not happy and Im not sad.

7-11. Everywhere.

[audio:This Night.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Chicken, Pizza, Smiths, Wings
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The Keg. See Ya Tonight.

Written by Esquire
November 26, 2009

The new roof top patio for drinks in Yaletown is pretty nice. If you must dine, the prime rib is tasty, and only runs $19.99.  I have ordered all the other cuts of steaks in the past but I can't help but to go back to prime. Something else to check out, a nice little snack option: The Prime Rib sliders. They are on the lounge menu, and come in at only $8.95.  The price of a Keg Ceasar. Hit up some of that sour dough bread as well and thats all you will need. Eat for under $10. Who would of thought? Not me dog.

The Keg. Yaletown, Vancouver.

Filed Under Canada, Steak
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Swiss Chalet, Ok, Ok.

Written by Esquire
October 20, 2009

Although frowned upon in the west, this meal is a staple for most every family in the east. I cant help but to notice there is more pride taken in the quality of the Chalets in Ontario then anywhere else. During the holidays the quarter chicken Festive Special is a lovely alternative to the classic turkey dinner. Swiss Chalet. Be sure to order two chalet sauces, as one is never enough. At only 26 calories per sauce, you cant afford not to double down.

Swiss Chalet. Canada.

Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.