In A Pizza Coma I know I know, It’s Serious.

Written by Esquire
February 22, 2010

If you ever find yourself trapped in middle earth for a week like I do every year, ease up on the Wendy's for one night and treat yourself to a nice dinner. The place is Bona Roma. No its not adult entertainment or anything like that. Its actually a very nice little pizza spot across from Canada Olympic Park in Calgary. They make a lovely deep dish. The amount of cheese they use acts like that of a horse tranquilizer, rendering you useless for the remainder of the evening. Comatose, if you will. This is a good thing, because there is absolutely nothing else to do on this baron stretch of Trans Canada highway.

Bona Roma. Calgary, AB.
[audio:Girlfriend In A Coma.mp3]

Filed Under Calgary, Italian, Pizza, Smiths
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Im Your Biggest Fan I’ll Follow You Until You Love Me. Pepper, Pepper-oni.

Written by Esquire
February 21, 2010

Im not sure if its a lack of the Italian community or what, but Vancouver is certainly a tough city to get really good pizza in. Of course there are a few good spots, but good god it's scarce. One of my favorites is Nat's Pizzeria. Nat's delivers in quality, and, well I guess they actually deliver. It's pretty much the only place I order from while in the downtown area. The pizza is great, and its very reasonably priced.  There is one location in Kits, and one on Denman St. The only bummer dude is they close at 10pm. This of course makes things extremely difficult for my late night snacking habits.  That's my cross to bare.

Note: This song is catchy as balls. I quite like this Lady GaGa character.  However, I can never quite tell if she is remotely attractive in any way, shape, or form.  This of course makes her extremely attractive.

Nat's New York Pizzeria. Vancouver. [audio:Paparazzi.mp3]

Wasted Away Again In Margherita (Pizza) Ville.

Written by Esquire
February 14, 2010

Ordering the Margherita is truly the best way to measure the quality of an establishment's pizza pie. I must say Terroni's has perfected this art. They have one of the finest pies you will find in Toronto. I could eat there every day. The sauce is outstanding, and the dough is perfect. There is much hype surrounding this spot. In this case,  believe.

Terroni's is known for their stern protocol. My friend always insists on toying with the servers and asks to substitute toppings, and to have the pizza served cut. This always makes them extremely angry. They will go into this spiel about how the owner does not allow substitutions, and his signature is to serve pizza uncut. I suppose that's how they do it in the old country. They are totally Pizza Nazis, It's amazing. This certainly adds to the ambience of Terroni.

Note: If you really want to mess with them, ask for parmesan cheese for your pizza. That request may actually get you kicked out. Some people claim that there's a women to blame. But I know. Its my own dam fault.

Terroni. Toronto. [audio:Margaritaville.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Music, Peppers, Pizza, Toronto
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Knock Knock Gnocchi On Heaven’s Door.

Written by Esquire
January 26, 2010

I've recently been to actual Italy (where I ate like a Super Mario brother)  so naturally I was not expecting to find premium Italian foods in Calgary of all places.  Gnocchi's Ristorante has the finest dishes this side of the Atlantic.  The kick his ass Sea Bass (as seen above) was one of the many plates we were served throughout the 5 hour eating escapade. Veal, Lamb, Steak, Chicken, Gnocchi, Pasta, Bikini, Martini, Lamborghini. We received deluxe treatment because we were dining with the Mayor of Calgary and his lovely wife. Maybe he wasn't technically the mayor, but he should be. Either way, I can only imagine this fine establishment will treat all guests equally as pleasant. Unless your Portuguese.

Gnocchi's Ristorante. Calgary, AB.

Filed Under Calgary, Italian
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I Make It Rain, I Make It Rain, I Make It Rain Librettos.

Written by Esquire
January 11, 2010

Arugula and the Old Boy


Pizzeria Libretto makes a very nice pie. Check them out in Toronto. They have received much hype as of late. The pizza has a nice sauce and a really thin crust, similar to a roti. Libretto always seems to be jammed from 5:30pm on, so roll early. Actually, I just heard they are now open for lunch. Booyah.

Note: You won't combine Pizza and Roti, making a highbred Pizzaroti?  That would be amazing. I hope I live to see that day. Iv'e also been waiting on the release of the hover board from Back to the Future Part 2. We are now officially in the future and still no sign of it.  I remain doubtful, yet patiently I wait.

Pizzeria Libretto. Toronto. [audio:makeitrain.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Music, Pizza, Toronto
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Im In Milano Bitch.

Written by Esquire
December 23, 2009

Gnocchi with Sausage: A high end Italian version of Beans and Wieners.

A rare but amazing steak.

The "other" white meat, with truffles.

It must be the ingredients they use, because everything in Italy just tastes better. And this place they call Milano: I can see why its the fashion capital of the world. There were beautiful people everywhere. Clearly we  had no business being there. Even the old broads were babes. Its a different company, Its a different quality of product.

Cantina Della Vetra. Milan, Italy. [audio:Im in Miami Bitch.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Italy, Music
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After The Pizza Party It’s The Hotel Lobby.

Written by Esquire
December 21, 2009

Claudio, the Mayor of Varese.

The finest Margherita the world has ever seen

Pesto with Butter-like Cheese, shots of marinara.

Piedigrotta S.N.C. Varese, Italy. [audio:Fiesta.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Italy, Pizza
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California (Sandwiches). Here we come.

Written by Esquire
November 6, 2009

One of the best Italian sandwich spots in Toronto is California Sandwiches. They now have multiple locations, but the original is in an actual house, in the middle of a subdivision near College St. I think my friend's grandma used to next door in the 60's. The Queensway location has one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen working the cash. Each sandwich can easily feed two. I still always eat the whole thing myself.

California Sandwiches. Toronto. [audio:California.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Sandwich, Toronto
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It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding.

Written by Esquire
August 12, 2009

As seen above, the amount of food served at this wedding could be best described as offensive amazing. Boy those Italians sure know how to over eat. God bless them. God bless them all. Not 20 minutes after concluding the 7 course meal, a buffet of mini burgers, fries, and grill cheese was rolled out. Had I known to expect these midnight snacks I certainly would have paced myself during the meal, and on the dance floor. But alas, I dove into that buffet as aggressive as I did the dance.  "Dancing till my heels bled. Was the summer of 69 09."

The Hills. Toronto.

[audio:White Wedding.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Toronto
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.