Oh Joey’s, I’m Not Hungry Anymore.



Written by Esquire
May 28, 2010






This social lounge concept has really taken over the Vancouver restaurant scene lately. Apparently when you add the word fusion to a dish, you can charge what ever you like. I once had a trendy ramen bowl that was $16. FML. But let's be realistic. Who actually goes to these establishments with eating as their primary motive? Not me dog.

People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay? They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. That's what the flair's about. It's about fun.

This wing warmer at Joey's above is quite a novelty. The open flame adds an element of danger and excitement. I usually spend a King's ransom there.  Regrettably very little of that is ever on snacks. It would appear I favor purchasing over priced drinks as apposed to over priced food. Besides, if you have enough of those Super Sonic Vodka Tonics I guarantee you won't be hungry anymore.

Joey's. Vancouver.

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This Slice, Has Fu*ked Up My Life. And I Will Never Sleep Again.



Written by Esquire
March 27, 2010






Regrettably, this is merely one example of what I had been consuming in the wee hours of the morning during the Olympics. 7-11 now has all kinds of new hot foods that cater to the drunk, and the high. The slices were nothing to drag home. Yet I dragged home 4 of them? WTF? Surprisingly the breaded wings were pretty good. I figure they sit under that heat lamp for so long they dry out nicely. I am one who prefers my wings extra crispy, as apposed to a soft chicken gizzard texture. Old balls...gross. Either way, don't eat here. I should be embarrassed.

Note: Results from this type of gluttonous snacking have been two fold. First off, I've been having night terrors, specifically regarding the image above. Secondly, it has left my physique in a less then desirable state. Im not even in that good of shape to begin with. Fuk my life.

And Im not happy and Im not sad.

7-11. Everywhere.

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Wingy Wingy Wingy, Cant You See. Sometimes Your Wings Just Hypnotize Me.



Written by Esquire
January 18, 2010






Wings, On Granville St. Just look for the Howard Johnston Hotel.  Wings is fortunate enough to share a bathroom with HoJo's lobby. Very classy. Im not sure how I feel about this establishment. Something tells me it would have more success in Surrey. Surrey or Jersey. Bridge and tunnel folk a plenty. Wings serves a very specific purpose, no more no less.  Go there to watch the game in LD (Low Def) and drink draft. Its loud, and Im unsure if the wings are even any good. I feel filthy each time I have eaten there. But then again, its wings, the armpit of chicken. What am I really expecting?

They make you sign a contract if you order the death wings. I took down a whole plate of those once. Yeah bitch. I sweat so much my actual eyeballs were perspiring. I looked like Patrick Demsey in 1995's Outbreak.  (Thats right, it was indeed Pat Demsey who contracts the virus from the monkey). And how it burned. I had no idea you could get the clap from eating hot wings. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe.

Wings. Vancouver.

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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.