I Want To Make Love To This Club. Sandwich.

Written by Esquire
December 29, 2009

Another hot item from Amsterdam was this Club Sandwich. It hit me right in the aioli.  Garlic aioli in fact. Unfortunately I cannot confirm exact coordinates of where  to obtain this glorious snack. It appears the aggressive amount of brew-ski's consumed that very day has jogged the memory. What I can recollect was this particular restaurant had a red Heineken sign. The problem is every street in Amsterdam has hundreds of Heineken signs, many of them red. Ballsnekia to ever finding that place again.

(Ballsnekia -balls-neck-e-ah - a Dutch word, meaning "balls". )

One spot you will have no problem finding is the Grolsch Bar. Actually, it will find you. No matter how far you walk, and how lost you get, you will most definitely end up back at this bar every time. Its like magic, or a fantasy.  I can imagine Narnia would be very similar to Amsterdam in that regard.

Although the beer at Grolsch is  very cold, regrettably the food is nothing like the club above. In fact, its terrible. Don't eat there, and you will have a splendid time. I repeat, the beer is ice cold.

Grolsch Bar. Amsterdam, Netherlands.



Filed Under Amsterdam, Music, Sandwich
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You Can Eat Whatever You Like.

Written by Esquire
December 26, 2009

There is no shortage of things to see in Amsterdam.  In particular the surprising amount of fast food establishments. It appears North American staples such as Burger King are held in high regard in this city. There are also French fry spots everywhere.  One would assume the Dutch are on the brink of obesity. This is clearly not the case. There are Viking-like girls on bikes everywhere. Babes on Bikes. I have a sneaking suspicion Bob and Julian from Biggest Loser were right. As long as you exercise, you can swing away on the snacks Brosef.

What was most impressive: FEBO - the vending machine restaurant chain. This place is truly from the future.  No more humans. Your only interaction is with a machine. Just like Terminator Salvation.  Obviously this concept has been thought of countless times (whilst on the electric lettuce), but here in Amsterdam they actually followed through with it. FEBO was full of customers each night despite the fact that there is a McDonalds right across the street.

Note - There was actually no midnight toking that induced this particular visit. Foreign substances would have only compromised the taste. Well, I guess we were on "the beer". The beer, and the vodka drink. You mix a vodka drink, you mix a whiskey drink. Right. Drunk eating. That explains why we tried one of everything.  Gluttony in its purest form.

FEBO. Amsterdam, Nederlands.

[audio:Whatever You Like.mp3]

Filed Under Amsterdam, Fast Food, Music
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Im In Milano Bitch.

Written by Esquire
December 23, 2009

Gnocchi with Sausage: A high end Italian version of Beans and Wieners.

A rare but amazing steak.

The "other" white meat, with truffles.

It must be the ingredients they use, because everything in Italy just tastes better. And this place they call Milano: I can see why its the fashion capital of the world. There were beautiful people everywhere. Clearly we  had no business being there. Even the old broads were babes. Its a different company, Its a different quality of product.

Cantina Della Vetra. Milan, Italy. [audio:Im in Miami Bitch.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Italy, Music
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After The Pizza Party It’s The Hotel Lobby.

Written by Esquire
December 21, 2009

Claudio, the Mayor of Varese.

The finest Margherita the world has ever seen

Pesto with Butter-like Cheese, shots of marinara.

Piedigrotta S.N.C. Varese, Italy. [audio:Fiesta.mp3]

Filed Under Italian, Italy, Pizza
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After the Show It’s the Pizza Party.

Written by Esquire
December 21, 2009

Pine nuts, Rapini, Brie Cheese. Sidecar of Bocchini, you won't.
The old country: Italy. Meal #1.  Next level shit. Seriously. Even our Fine Italian Host Giuseppe had never seen Pizza get this crazy before. Summer of 2002 called, they want the thinner version of me back. Somebody help. If you ever find yourself in the Village of Varese, just north of Milan, go here. And yes.  Those are indeed side cars of bocchini to accent the toppings of Pine nuts, rapini, and Brie cheese.
Piedigrotta S.N.C. Varese, Italy.

Filed Under Italy, Pizza
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Domo Arigato, Tuna Bintoro.

Written by Esquire
December 9, 2009

This place makes me feel like Ralph Macchio, specifically when he filmed Part 2 of the Karate kid. Much like the small village of Okinawa, at Hapa there is a plethora of beautiful asian women walking around, always carrying things. I often long to be like Daniel San. Perhaps one day I too will find love in the tiny village. The Bintoro tuna, the Ishi- Yaki rice bowl, and a Japanese Pizza are featured in this episode. Stay tuned, as there is no shortage of fine dishes at this wonderful establishment.

Note: Regrettably, they actually made a part 3 of the Karate Kid Saga. Never ever watch that film.

Hapa Izakaya. Vancouver.


Filed Under Japanese, Rice, Sushi, Tuna, Vancouver
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Oh, Donna (Guacamoles)

Written by Esquire
December 6, 2009


We were so drunk when we ate here, I had forgotten this place until I came across this photo, and of course my visa statement. Tacos were ordered, that is certain. I can't say I remember much of how they tasted. What I do remember was the restaurant was absolutely rammed with people. There were lots of actual Mexicans eating there, which is a good sign. One of the staff resembled a young Antonio Bandaras.  He insisted on sending complimentary shots of Tequila our way. That's always a nice feature. I shall have to return sometime and give this place the old college try.

Don Guacamole's. Vancouver. [audio:Oh Donna.mp3]

Filed Under Mexican, Vancouver
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T.I – The (Gyoza) King.

Written by Esquire
December 1, 2009


Unlike most places that claim to be the best, Gyoza King actually lives up to it's name. Truly they are The King of Gyoza. Burger King... regrettably not on the list. Although at $ 1.29, The Whopper Jr,  wonderful late night savings.

At the King there are various hand made Gyoza's to choose from: Pork and Chives, Chicken, shrimp or veggie. A dash of Togarashi seasoning (although unnecessary) is a lovely addition to these little guys. Gyoza King also have a bunch of other dishes equally as good, non of which I shall mention today. For we cannot take the moment away from the Gyoza......

Gyoza King. Vancouver.

Filed Under Japanese, Vancouver
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.