This Slice, Has Fu*ked Up My Life. And I Will Never Sleep Again.

Written by Esquire
March 27, 2010

Regrettably, this is merely one example of what I had been consuming in the wee hours of the morning during the Olympics. 7-11 now has all kinds of new hot foods that cater to the drunk, and the high. The slices were nothing to drag home. Yet I dragged home 4 of them? WTF? Surprisingly the breaded wings were pretty good. I figure they sit under that heat lamp for so long they dry out nicely. I am one who prefers my wings extra crispy, as apposed to a soft chicken gizzard texture. Old balls...gross. Either way, don't eat here. I should be embarrassed.

Note: Results from this type of gluttonous snacking have been two fold. First off, I've been having night terrors, specifically regarding the image above. Secondly, it has left my physique in a less then desirable state. Im not even in that good of shape to begin with. Fuk my life.

And Im not happy and Im not sad.

7-11. Everywhere.

[audio:This Night.mp3]


Filed Under Canada, Chicken, Pizza, Smiths, Wings
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Because Your Sub, Your Sub, Your Sub, Is My Drug.

Written by Esquire
March 15, 2010

I've walked by Finch's a thousand times and never once thought to step inside. I figured it was a local hang out for artists to discuss art with other artists, over a coffee specifically not from Starbucks. It's all very artsy. This diverse crowd also suggests vegan types frequent this establishment, so I always steered clear. Little did I know Finch's makes amazing sandwiches. I guess the proper word at a tea house would be a baguette. Where Im from, we call them submarines, as they are shaped like Das Boot.  Inside this particular sub was prosciutto, pear, brie, and candied walnuts. Dope as. It was so good  even those who claim they don't eat meat but they sure like the bone would enjoy it. It was very much like crack, all it takes is one hit and your hooked. I considered going back for dinner that very evening. The following day while eating a different sandwich from a different place, all I could think about was the flavor overload that Finch's had earlier provided.

Note: Don't let my haste towards the Art Community confuse you. I merely poke fun because I lack creativity.  Besides, we share the same enemy. Artsy people despise the common man as much as I do. My enemies enemy is my friend?

Finch's. Vancouver, BC. [audio:Your Love Is My Drug.mp3]

Filed Under Sandwich, Vancouver
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I Really Miss Fat Tony’s, Even Though You Gone Away.

Written by Esquire
March 8, 2010

Late night Whistler. Fat Tony's is located right in the village square. I have only ever been here in the wee hours of the morning, but what a slice. From what I remember each piece weighs a pound. I also vaguely recollect there being a nice sesame crust.  My associates are obsessed with one of the slices they serve: The White One. It comes covered in some sort of white ranch type of product. Ranch on pizza....what will these youth think of next?  I often stay in the hotel directly above Fat Tony. If your room is in the west wing of the Adara Hotel you can actually smell the pizza cooking all night. Thank god I don't midnight toke. For If I did I could never escape the late night desires.  They are open until 3am. It usually gets post bar dirty, but the good kind of dirty. Kind of like most of the servers at Earls Whistler. Women of Staff housing-The bad kind of dirty.

Note: This is a sad tune from the hood. What ever became of this Master P anyway? From what I remember he even made it into the NBA at one point. Thats pretty dirty too.

Fat Tony's Pizza. Whistler, BC. [audio:I Miss My Homies.mp3]

Filed Under Pizza, Whistler
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Bailamos. Let The Rhythm Take You Over At Stepho’s. Te Quiero. Amor Mio.

Written by Esquire
March 4, 2010

Stephos is personally my favorite greek restuarant in the city. The savings alone is reason to wait in the ever so common line out front. At $7.95 the Souvlaki plate is certainly the best value in Vancouver. The fact you will be full for days is also a nice feature. Even my friend Nick The Greek Physique claims this spots rules. That must account for something. Wait a minute, Im not so sure he is even greek? Regardless, hit this spot up.

Note: Speaking of Enrique Iglesias, many of the wait staff over at Stepho's resemble ethnic ball room dancers. They move with such grace as they bring food to the table. I imagine Enrique would move like that, if he ever were to become a waiter. 

Stepho's Souvlaki. Vancouver. [audio:Bailamos.mp3]

Filed Under Chicken, Greek, Vancouver
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.