She Said She Liked To Order Take Out. I Said That’s Just Fine With Me. That Way We Can Tan And Eat Nimby.

Nimby is a nice little take-out spot right by Kits Beach. Finally I can do two of my favorite things at once, eat while tanning. I know what your thinking, it’s tough to eat lying down. Fear not, for if the secret burger sauce is ever to drip on your chest, just rub it in. It doubles as a hybrid oil based tanning lotion.

I can’t believe it took that long for someone to realize you need take-out food close to a beach. Come to think of it no one ever actually eats at Bar Beach. There are always a bunch of assholes doing all kinds of weird shit like wrestling, tight rope, flare bar-tending, devil sticks, medieval role play, etc. But no eating. It’s probably because everyone is too concerned about flexing and showing off their horrific tribal tattoos. Please Nimby, fatten these people up already. Actually, while your at it, please fatten up those fries your serving as well.  Shoe strings just don’t cut it. Your burger is pretty dam good, but the fries could use some work, or girth rather.

Note: Nimby Burger. In Canada this is as close as we may ever come to the beloved In N Out. I’ll take it. But then again, these days I’ll take anything.

Nimby Burger. Kits, Vancouver.

Chopsticks

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Subway Be My Friend Tonight. Subway Be My Friend Tonight.

I curse the gods for putting a Subway so close to my apartment. On most days  I despise this place with all that I am. When sober, I would never step foot in this establishment for the sole reason that my clothing will smell like strange bread for the remainder of the day. Yet on certain occasions I can’t help but to remember that Subway has gotten me out of some serious jams. Airport hunger, yes. However in this instance I am referring to late night adventures gone wrong. As a human, I realize sometimes the body can no longer function unless you give it substance. Vodka soda… regrettably not on the sustainability list.  Subway is my only late night friend… a friend who will always be there for me, nourish me, offer me chocolate milk and such. Subway is my new BFF? If so then FML…. Fuck Mel’s Life™.

It’s plausible the only reason I have this new friend is because the location by my place is now open 24 hrs. It’s green and yellow fluorescent sign glares into my window late at night.  I can feel it presence, constantly taunting me, calling out my name. “Help me Cold Cut-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope“.

Note: Would Subway please introduce a 9 inch sub option already? For the love of god, clearly 6 inch’s is a child’s sandwich. 12 inches are for boheims and Americans. Please.  And by earlier stating FML I am referring to Mel Gibson’s life. His actual life. Clearly our lives could not be any worse then his at this point in time. I can’t believe this is the same man that brought us Braveheart.

I never want to eat alone. I never want to see her eat alone.

Subway. Everywhere. Gross.

Darkness.

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I’m Not Looking For A New England Clam Chowder. I’m Just Looking For Another Girl.

Due to the fact that I don’t eat sea bugs, I’ve never ingested Clams of any sort, until recently. If I had known that Clam Chowder tasted like rich buttery Alfredo sauce, surely I would have tried this shit years ago. As it turns out my allergies to ocean insects have subsided to a degree. I enjoyed the soup without being fully choked out.  My ears and throat where a little itchy, but that was the extent of it. This Chowder and Ahi Tuna Club sandwich combo certainly hit the spot.

Note: I couldn’t help but to notice that at Coast every guest is treated as though they are wealthy. Cloth napkins are placed on your lap, and wine glasses are used, even for water. This is standard protocol, even for those who look like dirtbags.  What a nice feature.

Coast. Vancouver, BC.

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