I’ll Stop The World Tuna Melt With You.

Written by Esquire
September 29, 2010

This was a nice looking sandwich. It had the look of a desert, perhaps like two scoops of ice cream. In fact all the sandwiches at Phat Deli are displayed nicely. This melt had various types of cheese on it. Mozza on top, and cheddar on the bottom. Nicely melted bro.

Speaking of ice cream, there are a bunch of Gelato spots around town that do every flavor you can think of. I wouldn't put it past these nut jobs to whip up tuna flavored ice cream. Roast. Actually, gross. That would be a real bummer dude. Although, no worse then Vegemite flavor which by the way is legitimately on the menu at one spot.

Phat Deli. Yaletown, Vancouver. Melt. [audio:Melt With You.mp3]

Filed Under Sandwich, Tuna, Vancouver
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Another Saturday Night And I Ain’t Got Triscoti’s.

Written by Esquire
September 22, 2010

Montreal Smoked Triscuit

Egg Salad Triscuit

As we all know, Vampires will never grow old, and they will never die. The same could be said about my love for the Triscuit Cracker. Even though I stock pile boxes of these, I have run out on occasion due to over consumption. This is probably because I eat these things with everything. Mark my word, no cracker is as versatile as the Triscuit. No cracker. I hope one day to have a party where only Triscuit's are served. There will be various Choose Your Own Adventure toppings to select from. If it is successful perhaps I will branch out to Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs. This is my dream.

Above are a few gems I recently whipped up. My first example is the Smoked Meat Triscuit, a self proclaimed work of art. Second is the Egg Salad Triscuit.  Although equally delicious, it's pretty standard issue. Either way I feel both of these dishes should be considered as cover shots for the next Triscuit box. Perhaps that's my next venture. The guy made a million dollars.

Note: That Nabisco really has it all figured out. Upon further inspection I realized the Triscuit is nothing more then an adult Shreddie. Salted of course, but a Shreddie non the less. Genius.

Another Saturday Night. [audio:Saturday Night.mp3]

Panago The Streets Of London. Panago The Streets Of Birmingham.

Written by Esquire
September 14, 2010

On most occasions Panago can get fucked. Their pizza is neither her nor there. They make an average pie, which serves it's purpose, ideal for Pizza parties and such.  However, what vexes me about this company is that fat construction dude they use in their TV commercials. He acts as a deterrent rather then a reason to order from this spot.  Why is he wearing an apron if he is ordering delivery? He has the look of a walrus. Is Panago insinuating their customers are walruses? Terrible messaging. That's not good for business. That's not good for anybody.  I am very vexed.

Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that they constantly play.

Panago. Canada. Panic. [audio:Panic.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Pizza, Smiths
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Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Tots. Everybody.

Written by Esquire
September 13, 2010

On Friday's I often like to head to the mall for lunch. I figure dinning with the common folk keeps me honest, and the food court has a wide variety of garbage to ingest. Why I choose Taco Time more often then not is a complete mystery to me. Yet each visit I proceed directly to the south west corner of the food court, like clockwork. This type of snacking has got to stop. When I am done eating this meal it usually feels as though I have been hit by a large automobile.  I know this feeling because I have actually been hit twice before by large automobiles. For real.  Derek Foreal.

Taco Time. Kind of gross bro. Shots. [audio: Shots.mp3]

Filed Under Canada, Mexican
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.