Just Going To Stand There And Get Heart Burn. That’s Alright It Was The Tacos From The Furn.

Written by Esquire
August 24, 2011

Anytime I see a sign for all you can eat, I always feel there should be a question mark after it. All you can eat? After all, it's a question, not a statement. A challenge even. I saw someone eat 22 tacos in one sitting at the El Furniture Warehouse once. I would expect as much from a larger man. But this particular gentleman's physique resembled that of Olympic Diving Legend Greg Louganis. 22 may not seem like much, but to put it into perspective, I was only able to take down 8.  I am clearly a glutton, and although I am not technically Mexican, I certainly could pass for one. Surely this should have given me an edge? Regrettably it did not. Always a bridesmaid... Speaking of bridesmaids, Peter Andersen: Respect. You eat like a man twice your size you slim son of a bitch. Disrespect: me.

Note: Rihanna hurts my heart. It must be her beauty that does this. Or maybe it's because this song reminds me of eating tacos and getting actual heart burn? Hmm. Either way, Rihanna is my dark angel. There is nothing  I shall want.

(El Furniture) Famous Warehouse. Vancouver. [mp3j track="Love The Way You Lie.mp3"]  

Filed Under Mexican, Vancouver
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Sad Songs For Dirty Aprons.

Written by Esquire
August 22, 2011

Dirty Apron has a nice little deli. Some would call it a secret deli, as they are mainly known for their cooking classes. Actually, If you get the chance you should take one of those too. It's good times, and most importantly they serve wine as you are learning to cook the meal. From the deli, every sandwich I have tried so far has been banging. Take for example this pork Vietnamese sub above.  This sub was dirty. The good kind of dirty of course.

Note: I'm referring to Catholic High School girl dirty as apposed to East Van crack whore dirty. I mention this because both can be found in this area of town. Dirty Apron. Vancouver, BC. ♫ Fashion Coat (Album: Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers) [audio:Fashion Coat.mp3]

Filed Under Sandwich, Vancouver
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This Was The Worst Cheeseburger In Paradise.

Written by Esquire
August 3, 2011

On account of it being hot as balls today, I am reminded of a trip I once took to Hawaii. I was in indeed in paradise, until we went to a place called Cheeseburgers in Paradise.  Question: How can you have Cheeseburger in the name of your establishment, but not know the first thing about making an actual cheeseburger? I am aware this particular Waikiki location is a tourist trap, but this was some next level bullshit. Just because your guests resemble cattle, it does not mean you should serve them trough food pronounced troff. I am not usually a hater, but in this case I will supply the link to ensure you never eat here. Much like the cheeseburgers, this song also sucks. However, the slow mo antics of David Lee Roth may be worth checking.

Note: Surprisingly, the piña coladas were exceptional.

Chesseburgers In Paradise. Hawaii.

♫ Paradise. DLR.

Filed Under Burger
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.