I’ll Explain Everything To The Greeks.



Written by Esquire
September 9, 2011






I first stumbled across Scoozies many moons ago. In those days my friends and I had a lot of free time on our hands. We didn't exactly have day jobs per say. To break up the week we would often head down to the financial district at lunch hour to scam on business babes. It never worked. I suppose we should have worn suits or something? What we did find was a lovely family run Greek cafe. Some bangers to order at Scoozies are as follows: the meatball dish, the lemon chicken soup, and the Greek salad with chicken above. A nice feature is they serve a piece of grapefruit with every dish. I have always enjoyed the grapefruit. Speaking of which,  a wise man once said to me: Son, when looking for a mate, you're going to want to go ahead and find yourself a grapefruit. They take a little work, but once you get them open you have the goods. A little work? Yeah right. What qualifications does one need to be deemed a Wise Man these days anyway?

Note: I have no idea what in god's name this song is about, but it often stays in my head for months at a time. I sing it exclusively in the shower. The National rules.

Scoozies. Vancouver, BC.
      Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks
The National.  
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I Just Want To Eat. I Just Want To Eat At Peaceful.



Written by Esquire
September 6, 2011






I'm on a real Chinese binge as of late. Of all the foreign establishments in this fine Asian influenced city, it is Peaceful Restaurant that I desire the most. You won't open up a second location even closer to my home? Tis true, they now have a spot downtown in addition to the original on Broadway and Cambie. This is trouble for my mid section. I only burn through 15 calories max on my walk over, yet I consume thousands in one feeding. This equation is certainly not adding up in my favor. Yet I proceed. Go in a large group so you can try everything. Some mandatory orders are as follows: Sichuan Cucumbers. Mu-Shu noodle. Peaceful Beef roll. Xiao-Long Bao Steamed Buns above.

Note: I want the money. Money and The Cars. Cars And The Clothes. The Ho's. I suppose... I do quite like the part about the ho's I suppose,  but it reminds me, the success I once hoped to achieve has quickly become an irrelevant daydream. Though I may never have such fancy things like Drake, I will likely still have my appetite.

Peaceful Restaurant. Vancouver, BC.

      Successful
 

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Call Me New Ho King. Call Me Mr. Wong. Call Me Insane…



Written by Esquire
September 1, 2011






New Ho King - The true Emperor of the Special Tea Dynasty. Legend has it this is the place where special tea was invented. I know what you may be thinking. Who would need more alcohol when there so much delicious food on the table? Me, for one. No better a way to wash down chicken balls and fried rice then with luke warm Coors Light. Back to the food... their won-ton soup, what a glorious starter. And the honey garlic wings;  they use so much honey you have to clean your hands with 400 grid sandpaper. The plates never seem to stop coming at the Ho. It often feels like you are in a black hole, where hours of eating, drinking, and carrying on go by and no one seems to notice or care.  Maybe its the MSG talking, but I have had more fun at New Ho King then in all the clubs in Toronto combined...Fact.

Note: I have never once eaten here sober, or before 2:47am for that matter.

New Ho King. Toronto, ON. Because of how similar and amazing the intro to both of these tunes are,  It had never occurred to me that Mr Vain and Rhythm is a Dancer are in fact two different songs, performed by two different artists. I quite enjoy how half way through both of these songs there is a deep voiced man who is straight up talking.
      Mr.Vain.

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      Rhythm.

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Filed Under Chinese, Toronto
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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.