We Ate Subs In A Hopeless Place.

Written by Esquire
December 29, 2011

Nothing brings me joy quite like breaking out a steaming hot pizza sub on a charter flight. The smell of pepperoni can be picked up upwards of nine rows in each direction, masking many of the vile smells usually present in the vessel. Seeing all the hopeless faces watching over me as I eat, how they glare at me with envious eyes. A small ration of Bits & Bites are all these commoners have to appease their hunger. If only for that moment, I am King, surrounded by starving peasants.

Note: This photo suggests I am eating in a discotheque. Regrettably nothing is further from the truth. Speaking of which, this new Rihanna track is borderline techno, it must be bumping in the club? But what would I know. I'm in my 30's. Can someone in their 20's please tell me if this is a hot track? Subway. Whatever. We found love.   

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No One On The Corner Has Shawarma Like Us.

Written by Esquire
December 21, 2011


I recently hit up Falafel Maison, which happens to be just around the corner from me. Their Shawarma plate is delicious, but the thing is after this meal you need to drink a gallon of water to battle the salt intake. Why so salty ? I can only assume Cook Ahmed grew up in a small village near the Dead Sea, and adding this obscene amount of salt is his way of remembering the mother land.

Something else I observed while hanging on the corner: there are some very questionable fashion decisions being made on Robson St. these days. What in god's name are people wearing? Bulky sweaters, sweatpants, white puffy coats with fake fur on them, Lulu Lemon pants,  UGGs... uggh. It's as though the entire city has collectively given up on life and resorted back to their outfits of 2003 just because it's cold out.  This is inexcusable. What a fucking disgrace. Vancouver's general population: Roast.

Note: Can't wear skinny jeans cuz my nuts don't fit. - Jay Z. True dat Jigga Man, true dat.

Falafel Maison. Vancouver. [mp3j track="Swagga Like Us.mp3"]

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Biking To Farina, Just To Get Some Pizza.

Written by Esquire
December 15, 2011

I wish I was Jay Z, for then I would surely do as his rhyme suggests and fly to Pisa, just to get some pizza. Regrettably I am nothing like this man. My closest version of that would be riding my bicycle over to Main St and dinning at Farina. This place rules. It's the Apple Store of pizzeria's. Great pizza, no nonsense decor. I have long awaited for Vancouver to produce some legit pizza pies in this one horse town. I must say the day has finally come.  Vancouver, pizza, respect.

Note: I have grown bored of only showcasing pictures of food, and have decided to include real human beings as well whenever possible. As seen here: Panda dives into a Calabrese. Pizzeria Farina. Vancouver, BC. [mp3j track="Talk That Talk.mp3"]

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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.