I Was Looking For A Dog And Then I Found A Dog. And Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.



Written by Esquire
Wednesday






I was at Mammoth Mountain in California not all that long ago. We put on a BBQ in the freezing cold.  I cooked for two hours, with only the warmth of hot dog smoke to shield me from the elements. It was miserable. Heaven knows. My brand new coat still smells of Frank Furter himself. Oye Vey. On a positive note, I ended up becoming one with the grill, and worked with a wide selection of meats. We purchased a plethora of various brands of dogs and burgers. Normally I would stick with one brand, but being in foreign lands I figured why not try them all. After much testing, I must say Hebrew National is the dog for me. Not only is it delicious, but it's Kosher. I have no idea what this entails, but it seems like a fine feature. The Jews sure know whats up. First they master the bagel, and now this. And we can't forget about that Jerry Seinfeld. He can do no wrong. Mazel tov.

Hebrew National.

      ♫ Heaven.

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Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.