I Predict A Riot. I Predict A Diet.

Written by Esquire

After a very interesting evening,  I awoke and took a long hard look in the mirror. While lost in the gaze of my big brown eyes,  something became clearly evident: I need to go on a diet.

Finally, these god forsaken NHL playoffs are over. For the last two months I've been required to put my body through the ringer a minimum of 3 times a week,  all in the name of sport. The lack of fitness, the inevitable drinking, the constant snacking on deep fried delights; It really takes a toll on the physique. As if that wasn't enough, these fuck wads had to go and trash this beautiful city. Thank god they stuck to burning the retail district. I don't know what I would do if any harm had come to my beloved food establishments. What a bunch of neanderthals.

Note: For the record, I'm never embarrassed about my food choices. What brings me great shame is the fact that I live amongst cavemen.

♫ Riot.

[audio: I Predict A Riot.mp3]  


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1 Comment so far
  1. Jennifer P March 9, 2012 9:38 pm

    Hey asshole

    This is somewhat late in coming, but body snarking isn’t okay. Ever. ‘Just kidding’ isn’t a fucking excuse, I’m built like the bare titted rioter in question and I’m a-okay with that. I like food (I’m reading a food blog. Duh.), I don’t care enough to do meal plans and so I have a pub food and microbrew mini-gut.

    Focus on yourself, not others.


Appies All The Time. Snack well, friend.