Cheese Sticks. Cheese Sticks I was Only Joking When I Said I’d Like To…

Written by Esquire


Last week 14 dudes and I were on a man trip doing man things in the California desert. After going there I am certain this is a place where vampires roam. For during the day there wasn't a sole in sight. Not one. Yet as night fell It was clear something was lurking among us. In the small village of Borrego Springs we stumbled on a Vamp bar called Carlees. Close your eyes and picture Erik's bar from True Blood... this was exactly the same, only with carpet. We ordered only deep fried products, which is standard protocol when dinning in suspect establishments such as this. To our surprise we were served the best mozza sticks of our professional careers. I was of course drunk so my judgement may have been slightly off, but I'm certain these sticks were something else. I wonder if maybe I was glamored by the waiter-vamp? Or could it be that Vampires may actually enjoy cooking? Either way, banging sticks.

Note: Speaking of banging sticks, how can vampires get boners if they have no blood flowing through them? True Blood Erik and Bill Compton are always banging, as is Edward from the Twilight Saga. How is this happening?

I suppose Morrissey could be a vampire.  He claims he doesn't bang anybody.

Carlees. Borrego Springs, CA. ♫ Bigmouth. [audio:Bigmouth.mp3]  


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